Bush Inaugural Address
(second draft)

My fellow Armenians:

As I stand here today, looking over this magnificent viagra, I think we can agree that the past is over. Our country is ready for a fresh, bipolar approach. I want to bring America together from a separatness that elected me.

We are the hill shining on a city, and each of us can get to the top if we set our feet to it. Just like Mt. Everest in Alaska, walk up and walk down! Americans have made their decision. They don't need sympathy; they need ablutions.

We need to move beyond the petty armadillos. Politics doesn't have to be the way it is today. We can make it the way we can tomorrow. We can make the pie higher. A high pie lets everyone put food on their family and their family on the table. That's my record: I side with most of the people...and Democrats be people too.

(Music break)

A president has to think not only of himself and his family and his baseball team's families, but of all American families. I don't believe a president should be choosing who are the right Americans and who are the wrong Americans. Just who are the Americans. All of us are together, white or wrong, black or right. Or perversely. That's why my tax cut is as broad as we are. And it will give our expansion a timely second dose of wind.

(Zantac commercial)

I say there's a cost to inaction. I haven't done the acrobatics, but it's probably around a trillion dollars. That's a good round sum to offer to everyone, especially our seniors, who are the backache of our nation. the spinal tap of freedom I would like to take a moment to mention my mother, Barbara Bush, who tragically has turrets syndrome. We need our seniors to be free to pass on. Thanks Mom, thanks Dad, thanks Jeb... and long live the Supreme Court..at least five of them.

(Applause; tears)

We know that America is the best in the world. We are the great super-premium; we cannot afford to be unleaded. This is still a world of madmen and mental losses. And mental loss is easy to underestimate. We need a sharpened sword to light our way. To quote Ronald Reagan: "I do not believe in a fate that will fall on us if we do nothing. I do believe in a fate that will fall on us if we do something. And it must never run our lives."

(Chevron commercial)

I worked in Texas by common sense and plain dozing. I got on with small business, because I was one myself. I'm less now. But I'm also more. I know you would rather be watching TV, and so would I, so I will draw to a quick confusion. My message is: I will get things done. I will inspire and untie. I will appeal to people's better angles. I will prove that politics can be bigger than you ever thought possible. We will trust the people we serve, and serve the people we trust. Together, we can do what needs to be done to preserve this great fruit basket of freedom.

....Leave us pray.